A Sad Goodbye

 
 
RRCollections

I am done. I am completely done. Over the last decade I have been fooling myself inside and have finally come to the reality that maybe, just maybe I am not the fan I put out there for everyone else to see at Tampa Bay Rays games. Maybe it was the finalization that I am not even a thought in the entire process that my money is more important than me, the Season Ticket holder. Or maybe it was final obeservation that I am treated like a second class citizen by most baseball fans because I do not have a big “B” or pinstripes on my game day wear.

Or it might have been the reality that I was chasing the dream of the “underdog” for so long that I fell into a rut or trap to where I did not have a way or a reason to want anything different. Or maybe it was the final observation that over the past few Rays season little by little my past Rays special moments have been whittled away from me, that now I am just like the guy **** comes up to the Rayx Box Office at 7:05 pm, I am just a number.

And it is sad that today I will get a huge bag of charcoal, fire that grill up and throw my 50+ autographed wooden bats, tons of photos and paper collectibles and game-used jerseys onto the flames to finally return to the heavens. For maybe the frustration levels just got so bad in my head and my heart that change had to happen now to save my soul for another sports love. Maybe I finally found the sport that will love me back as the Tampa Bay Rowdies will soon come back from the ashes and play soccer again in Tampa Bay.

 
TBO.com

But the stark reality that things have slowly been taken from me as a fan of the Rays has been a stepping stone path towards this funk I am in right now. And it is time to release the devil or demon within my chest and set it free to maybe take the soul of the “Happy Heckler” again. And it was a subtle reversal of my favorite moments that went unoticed within my mind, but now it really looks like a deliberate move by the Rays to remove my presence from their fan base with slow and methodical surgical moves to cut the umbilical cord.

Maybe the first instance that the end was coming was when the Rays held the Rays Season Ticketholder Photo Day the next morning after the team celebrated their first Playoff berth after an evening and night of late into the twilight celebratory drinks, song and maybe even a few Patron shots. When only a handful of Rays players came out for photos and much more of them were ushered way into the field of the surrounding fans and we were not even offered a quick photo or even a snap of a photos are they were whisked down the line not even turning towards the crowd….once.

Or maybe it was the reality that even though I am a kid at heart at the ballpark I could no longer complete my baseball collection each season getting some of the harder autograph becuase I was not under 14 years of age, which is the current age limit for getting player’s autographs in the lines on Sundays. Maybe that was strike two in my obvious heart. For this hurt my 2009-2010 adventure to have an autograph of everyone who was on the Rays 25-man roster during those seasons and now I am left with trading with young fans who want cold hard cash for their signed balls instead of trading Rays collectibles.

 
AP/Chris O’Meara

Or maybe the final blow was finding out today that even thought I have been faithfully writing paragraph after paragraph over the last few years into this very blog entry that I am viewed as an angry fan and not someone willing to post positive or even new news about the team in a “Rays fan’s point of view”. I am flabbergasted that my over 750 posts have been viewed as trash, that they have been proposed as fan propaganda with hidden agendas and motives. That my fan worship has been all about the all mighty dollar and not about the baseball and friendships that come wit it all.

So I guess all that is left to say is that I am done. I am finished. I am going to fade into the dark abyss. Sure I might have paid $ 1,800 dollars for my Rays seats but it will make a nice fire tonight. I can not fanthom following or even writing about a team who can not feel a kinship bond with me, even though some of them are my closest friends. I guess today is the day I am not longer a Tampa Bay Rays fan.

And like a bad relationship or marriage this break-up is coming with a heavy heart. It was not anticipated, planned or even thought possible even 24 hours ago, but now it is here and is a final nail in the coffin as I watch that shaved down Jose Canseco bat burning on the grill putting grill makes on the white pine shaft of the game-used bat. And next will be my “Jersey Off Their Back” Damon Rolls and Aubrey Huff jerseys with the whole episode finalizing with me burning my 1998 Game Used Wade Boggs jersey hopefully around nightfall.

It is said to sometimes say goodbye, but maybe this one has been 13 years long overdue. Maybe on this April 1, 2010 I finally found out that I am just a number. That my significance is minimal and insignificant to the Rays with every fiber of my being. Maybe on this first day of April, even with the season about to unfold…..my seat will be empty for 81 games……Goodbye.

 

 

 

yaD slooF lirpA yppaH

23 Comments

I had almost forgot it was April Fools Day until I read this…lol Nice one….hey, toss some marshmallows on that bon fire :O)

Jenn
http://philliesphollowers.mlblogs.com/

Cliff, Cliff, Cliff, I was getting ready to give you a pep talk then when I got to burning stuff, I knew it was a joke.
You have not visited me in a while :-(
Emma
http://crzblue.mlblogs.com

Jenn,
It is April Fool’s Day.
Dang, will have to change the date to March 31st.
It is tough some days to post, but this one hurt a bit…
It was hard to write something like that…believe me.

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

As soon as I started reading this, I thought “this can’t be”, then I remembered the date. Very convincing, though!
Sue
Rants, Raves, and Random Thoughts

Emma,
Been a rough couple of weeks with U S Congress going on hiatus without signing the new Unemployment Act, so been not buying time on the Internet and doing a lot of Dollar menu meals.
I should get back to normal soon…..Sorry.
I am burning some stuff today, but might just be the chicken. Wanted to just take a photo of the BBQ grill with an old broken bat on it, but thought someone might freak out.

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

I understand Cliff. Just thought I give you a hard time. I have friends and family unemployed too. Is hard here too.
EGBOK. Everything is goona be OK. You wait and see.
Emma
http://crzblue.mlblogs.com

Sue,
Teams disillusion the fans all the time.
That is why it might be believable..And who knows, you might have to wait to see if I post anything tomorrow Rays-related, or Mariners related.
Tick Tock…Tick Tock.

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

Sorry. I knew after the very first sentence that this was an April Fool’s scam. I ain’t no fool. Go Rays!PS. I have a lot at stake with the Rays this year as Longoria, Niemann, Garza and Crawford are all apart of one of my big money leagues. Thus, Go Rays!
–Jeff
http://redstatebluestate.mlblogs.com/

Jeff,
The odd thing is this will happen in the future for me no matter what the date.
I am one of people when I am wrong, that is it….game over.
I went to the same place for 20 years and they accused me of starting a fight one night and I was not even in that area…I was 3,869 miles west of Tampa Bay at the time.
Have not been back there since…
When I lose trust in the Rays………..It is over.

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

Emma,
Believe me, I know the stress and anxiousness of not working.
But then again, if I was still in my old job, I would never have started this blog….So it is a double-edged sword.
So as long as I am content, and the Rays put up with me, I will be here giving my own version of the truth, justice and the “Rays Way” of doing things.

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

O my God! You got me so bad. I was going to write to you telling you that you sounded suicidal. Wow, great writing and probably the biggest April Fools I have ever gotten.
Brady-
http://5toolblog.mlblogs.com/

Brady,
I am fine.
I have had a few people tell me to breathe in and breathe out already today.
I could never be suicidal. Conceited people can not harm themselves (lol).
Thank you for the writing compliment, but I am just doing my thing.

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

D,
I have met Griffey Jr before and talked with him, but have never got him to sign a ball.
But in 2010, I am on a mission myself to get it.
It is so funny how the casual fan sometimes can get what all of us want, and then when we try…people look at us like we are crazy.
I guess it could be worse…..I could always stay at home and miss all this great baseball.
Go get his autograph….

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

Touche’…That was awesome, the more I read the more it drew me in. I’m taking your advice and I’m gonna get that Ken Griffey Jr Autograph tomorrow…D
http://baseballsnatcher.mlblogs.com/

The thing is… if I give you my address you can send the tickets this way and i will burn them for you…. and thats as believable right… love the Mariners background… NOW CHANGE IT… LOL

~peter
Outside the Phillies Looking In
http://devilabrit.mlblogs.com

Nice. I read about 3/4 of the way down and saw the “yaD slooF lirpA yppaH A” and quit reading. lol

http://clevelandbaseball.mlblogs.com/

Didn’t even recognize the Mariners background until i read Peter’s comment.

Peter,
Tomorrow actually I am going to post a entry on the new Rays ticket fronts.
There are 11 different Rays players and one grey-haired Manager situated on the tickets.
But everyone will have to wait until Friday for the pictures.
Seattle is actually my retirement community, plus my favorite MLB stadium of all time (until the Rays new stadium).
I will change it back after midnight tonight.

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

Cleveland,
I added the reverse image message about 10 am yesterday because so many people were calling my cell phone and it was beginning to get on my nerves.
But April Fool’s Day is one of those days I can have fun by trying to convey something a bit twisted, but will make you laugh from your belly.
So hopefully today I will get back into my Rays groove….maybe.

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

Wow. You had me going there for awhile! If you hadn’t tipped me off that you’d written an April Fool’s post, I might have called the paramedics!!!

http://janeheller.mlblogs.com

Jane,
That coming from you is all I needed to smile today.
Hey, you got to have fun in life, April 1st is one of those days for me.
No paramedics needed, if it was real no one would ever be able to find me unless they could motor across the country and look on a seaside cliff ( no pun intended) at a guy sitting on his A-frame roof howling at the full moon.

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

Once you broke out the charcoal…I said no way! LOL
mike

Mike,
Worst thing is that I know you can not do damage by burning something with propane.
An ex-GF burned a lot of my football photos, uniforms and a helmet in the fireplace a long time ago.
Learned my lesson that day (lol).
Got a few people, but most of them it took them at least 3/4 of the way, then it got to silly to be real…maybe

Rays Renegade

http://raysrenegade.mlblogs.com

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